GREAT SONGS!

I recently started getting very into Christian bands. So I looked on youtube and found awesome videos to go with my favorite songs. As you'll see, I pretty much love Mercy Me, Relient K and Thousand Foot Krutch. They are the three bands I started listening to when I first got to liking Christian music a few years ago! Hope you enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud0kaWLHEd4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV9jiqS-74g&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogsUa4R_Fmw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTpWX60l3ZY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLqT9nXlDjE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Jd9dfn0Fgc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52eehbF1BXY

There's a few I couldn't find videos for :(

Those few would all be by TFK too. : )
--Small Town
--Hand Grenade
--Moment of the Day
--Last Words

What If God Had A Myspace??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU_iZfe5Xa4

I just thought this video was hilarious! But it really does make ya think about it. Like it said, if God had a myspace would you be his friend? And it talks about how people commenting him (basically like praying to him) and all they do is ask for stuff or for help, but they never thank him for anything. Wow...a funny video that really makes ya think. I know I would be God's friend if he had a myspace. He'd be number 1 on my top friends! lol Just thought I'd share this video with everyone. Have a great day! God Bless!

I karate chopped my brother in your bathroom because the voices told me to

Pick the month you were born:*
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:*
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born**:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motercycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the colour of shirt you are wearing:*
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made and let everyone see!

Of course! I get what I think is an amazing boyfriend..and one that I have actually stayed with longer than 2 months..and now I find something wrong! I have his myspace password..i have had it for like 2 months. and 2 months ago i got in there and i read some messages between him and his ex that they had written each other when they were dating. they told each other they loved each other in like every message. and then there was a girl that he was talking to but never dated and he had her over to his house and they hung out in his room and stuff. well he told me that i was the only girl he's told that he loves. and he told me also that i'm the only girl that's ever been in his house let alone his room and on his bed. and he has also said that he didn't care about his ex as much as he cares about me. but some of the messages i read def. showed that he cared about her a lot! and he says that i'm his longest relationship at going on 4 months...he dated this ex for a year and 2 months! so i know for sure he's lying to me about some stuff...and i'm just wondering what else he's lying about...ughhh

I am just so scared that there's major stuff that he's lying about that I need to figure out. But I've never been good with talking to people about serious stuff because i am so emotional and i'm scared because every serious talk i've had with someone eventually led to us breaking up or us not talking to each other ever again..and I don't want that with Austin...ugghhh...why does life gotta suck so hardcore!!??

It's Beginning To Feel A lot Like Christmas!

It's really starting to feel like Christmas time finally! As much as I hate it, snow is on the ground and the temperatures are freezing! lol But I also have all of my Christmas shopping done!! I actually started back in October. lol This year has got to be my best year of Christmas shopping. I actually feel very positive that everyone is going to love their presents this year! I've spent maybe about $200 or $300 dollars, but I feel good about it. lol Just $100 of it went to my niece. lol I love her so much. : )

Presents:
Mom~dress shoes for work, a shirt that says "Some of my greatest blessings call me Mamaw, and a Chicken Soup for the Grandma's Soul.
Dad~Colts house slippers. I also got my parents a gift together..and it's a decorative rock for outside the door and it says "Mamaw and Papaw's House"
Brother~A black and camo Colts hat. He loves hunting..so camo naturally will pop in my head for him.
Sister-in-law~A $10 gift card to Bath and Body Works to get whatever she wishes.
Grandma~A scent thing from Bath and Body Works that plugs into an outlet and makes the room smell yummy. Plus some refills for it.
Grandpa~some pj's
Aunt and Uncle~a collector edition Footprints crystal clock : )
Austin~a photo keychain..he was joking that he didn't want me to spend very much money on him..and to get him a keychain that he thought was nifty at the Ball State store..well I took the keychain idea up a notch and bought the photo one and preloaded pictures of me and him and his family on it...and I also got him about 2 pounds of candy. Some of his favorites...and some that I got just simply because they were polar bear shaped cause he has an odd obsession with polar bears. lol
Kinlee~a blow up jump-n-bounce, a package of 175 soft air filled balls to go with the jump-n-bounce(lots of fun for my brother and sister in law i'm sure! lol), an outfit that consists of blue jeans with pink hearts all over them and a matching pink top, 2 disney princess locker things for her shelf, a Colts cheerleader uniform with white tights and a pair of shoes, a gold purse, and a dog that barks, walks, and does sumersalts : ) We recently taught her how to say doggy and bark! : )

I also have a watch set I bought. I randomly come across it about a month and a half ago. I thought it would be perfect for my friend, but we had a falling out and are no longer friends. I don't know of anyone I could give it to. So if you need a good Christmas gift I have one you can buy from me for $8. It's one of the watch sets that you can change the band and the ring around the clock face. It has about 15 bands and 15 or so coordinating rings for the clock face. It all comes in a nice green jewelry box thing that has a mirror and everything. If you're interested let me know! : )

Snow Day

I can't believe how much snow Indiana decided so suddenly to drop on us. Winter is pretty much the worst season. It's cold! :( And I can't drive on these roads so I'm offically stuck in the house with my parents and absolutely no way out unless I feel like walking in said snow! It also makes the relationship between Austin and I quite hard. He doesn't have a car that is good enough to drive on the icy roads in the town of Muncie..let alone on our little Farmland side streets. So he can't come out. And like I said, I can't drive on these roads. I'm a little to much of a nervous person and I freak out quite easily. I just might have a panic attack while driving on these roads. So that rules me out of coming to Muncie. I now get to see him about once maybe twice a week, and it feels like we're 15 again and our parents have to drive us everywhere and I only get to see him when my parents are making a trip into Muncie. And it's so unbearable because you are just so close to being able to drive yourself but you have to wait a few more months! I know we love each other a lot and I believe we can make it through it. But it's gonna be hard.

The only good thing about winter is of course Christmas! I have really gotten into the Christmas spirit lately. Every cd player in my house has a Christmas cd in it. And I have officially bought and wrapped every present. : ) It's also quite easy to get into the Christmas spirit when you have a tree in your room. That's right..I have a Christmas tree in my room..and yes, it's actually a pink Christmas tree! My parents got it for me on Black Friday and gave it to me the following Monday as an early Christmas present. Along with a few ornaments. It's setting very well displayed on a table right in front of my window. It's quite a pretty tree, especially with lots of presents wrapped underneath just waiting for people to open them. That's my favorite part of Christmas, when people open the gifts you got them, and you just know they're going to absolutely love it, and they open it and they get this huge sparkle in their eye because they really do love it and can't wait to use it! That's my absolute favorite part of Christmas.

So..I need to take a shower. I just wanted to write about horrible and wonderful winter ideas floating in my head. Bye Bye!

Invisible

Hm...it's late..I'm not tired...stupid insomnia!

But I just keep thinking about how I'm so unwanted. I saw people at the Christmas Walk on Tuesday that I knew..and I would smile or say hey to them and they just simply ignored me and walked on away. And I'm just thinking..wow..am I really as invisible as I feel I am??

A few Sunday's ago I was at youth and Pink was talking about a drawing for an Ipod touch that is going to go out to someone on the opening party of the new youth room. And you get an entry for every brand new person you bring to youth, and that person has to be in 7th to 12th grade. I asked, seeing how I'm already graduated, if I could bring one of my friends that was also graduated and have an exception made for me. And he said no cause they're already making an exception for me cause I'm like a 13th grader.. I've been going to youth since 5th grade and that was the first time I really felt not welcome there. It just hit my heart and really made me want to cry. And I feel like I'm not even included in anything the youth does anymore. I hardly ever hear about things happening until a week or two after it. I used to know what was going on with the youth 2 weeks before it was happening!

And my parents keep acting like I'm such a burden living here. They keep downgrading me and harping on me for stupid stuff! But when I try to grow up and actually act like an 18 year old they don't want to let me!! Most 18 year olds simply say where they're going, when (if) they'll be home and go! No, I have to get permission to go like a week ahead of time! A little stupid if you ask me! Especially because I'm a good kid. I will be honest..I got drunk a few times..Every time I did, my brother was there and didn't drink and watched over me! And I will be honest again, I am not a virgin. I had a big lapse of judgment..starting questioning God..and just went out and did a lot of rebelling. There was no one I could talk to..because people dislike me so much and don't wanna put up with me. No one even realizes I'm here anymore. That doesn't make me a bad kid though...at least I don't think so..

Life just sucks. I'm the annoying, in the way person that everyone just wants to block out and forget about. Put up with me when they have to..say what I wanna hear..and get me on my way and away from them. I seriously can't believe anything anyone says anymore. Cause they're either saying it to be a brown noser to me or they're saying it to get me out of their hair. Nothing anyone says to me is true anymore. ugh! :(

Seriously, is life worth living anymore? I mean, what kind of life do I live anyway? No one on earth truly loves me or wants me around. So why am I still here!!??